Thursday, September 3, 2015

Week 2 Storytelling: The Breaking of the Bow

Rama and Lakshmana had only just arrived to the city of Mithila when they took their leave of the sage Vishvamitra. The main road had led them directly into a busy market square- dozens of tiny improvised stalls packed next to each other, vendors hawking goods and foods of all kinds, and a constant mass of moving, chattering patrons. This was a welcome sight for the brothers, who were tired and out of supplies after battling the rakshasas in the forest. Rama left Lakshmana to haggle with the local merchants while he walked down one of the winding side streets. He made his way further into the heart of the city and found himself on a hill overlooking the palace. A young woman with dark hair and plain clothes was sitting in the grass, watching him watch her.

"Are you lost, sir?"

"No, I've only just arrived. It's too soon to be lost, wouldn't you say?"

"One might say lost is about the only thing you can be, in that case." The young woman smiled at Rama. There was pretense of politeness, but he noticed the mischievous glint in her eye. "What brings you to Mithila, sir?"

Rama cleared his throat and explained,"My brother and I are sons of the great maharajah Dasharatha. A great sage asked us to battle the dark rakshasas in the forests, and our travels have brought us here."

"Ah, so you must be the amazing Rama everyone has been talking about? How fortunate I must be to welcome you to our fine city."

Rama could tell the girl was trying to fluster him. "I appreciate your kindness, Miss, but would you have any idea how we might be able to meet with King Janaka?"

"Ah, yes, the king. Well, the word around town is he will be holding a public gathering tomorrow in front of the palace. I'm sure you'll be able to speak with him then. Now, if you'll excuse me, I have a number of things to do and surprisingly few of them have anything to do with sitting here and talking to you."

Before Rama could say another word, the young woman had stood up and made her way back towards the city. That night, Rama met with Lakshmana and Vishvamitra to discuss their plans. The three decided that they would try to meet with the king during this public forum. The next morning, the three readied themselves and made their way to the palace.

When they arrived, it seemed as if the entire city had gathered to watch the proceedings. In a clearing in the center of the crowd sat an older-looking man in finely adorned clothes who must have been the king. He held in his hand a shining golden bow. After a few moments, the man stood up, and a sudden silence swept through the crowd. "I have called a gathering today to find a suitable husband for my daughter, the princess Sita. She is a noble and graceful woman, and only the strongest warrior deserves her hand and my favor." He held up the bow." This is the bow of the powerful god Shiva. He who can snap this bow in twain shall be declared the strongest warrior in all the lands. All are welcome to try their strength!"

Every man in the crowd made his way forward, one after one, to try breaking the golden bow. Most were strong and had the clear markings of warriors, but despite all efforts, the bow would not break. Finally, Rama stepped forward to try his hand. He strung the bow, and tossed it back and forth from one hand to the next, testing its weight. Finally, he took both ends into his hands and bent the bow back as far as he could. The ends of the bow were almost touching, and it was a marked improvement over his competitors, but despite his incredible prowess, Rama could not break it. He tossed the bow down in disgust and stepped back into the crowd.

A few moments later, a small hooded figure wrapped in a dark cloak stepped past Rama and into the center of the crowd. He picked up the bow and held it at a distance, examining it. Suddenly, almost too fast to see, the figure pinned one end of the bow to the ground and bent the other back with both hands. The cracking of the bow echoed off the stone walls of the palace walls, and the crowd began cheering. The king stepped forward to congratulate the new champion.

"You, sir, possess the strength of more than a hundred men. Only you are worthy of being my daughter's keeper."

"I must say I'm rather glad to hear that, father," and with a deft motion, the figure pulled back her hood and cloak, revealing not a man, but a young woman. Rama recognized her instantly as the girl from the day before.

"Let it be known that it was the wit and strength of a woman who broke the bow, and I, Princess Sita of Mithila, am bound to no one. Father, you will let me choose my own husband, and this choice shall not be questioned." The king, still in shock over the current proceedings, could only nod his agreement.

"Where is the one named Rama? He who is righteous and possessed with a divine grace, he shall be my husband, my partner and equal."

Rama stepped forward to meet his new bride."Princess, I must admit, I had no idea who you were when we met yesterday. I did not come here to win your hand but I would be honored to be your husband."

That same mischievous glint flashed in her eyes again."Rama, the rest of these suitors gathered in the city for the sole purpose of winning my hand. But you are here out of circumstance. One might say it's the will of the gods."
The breaking of the bow; Illustration by Evelyn Paul

Author's Note: This story is a mix of two separate parts of the Ramayana, "Sita" from The Divine Archer by FJ Gould (1911) and "Rama wins Sita" from Indian Myth and Legend by Donald A. MacKenzie (1913). I really liked the whole sequence revolving around Rama's arrival in Mithila, and the bow-breaking contest was really evocative of a lot of other mythological courtship stories. In both sources that I used, Rama does succeed in breaking the bow, and thus wins Sita's hand in a more traditional manner. There is also less dialogue between the two characters before the contest. The character of Sita seems relatively flat and lacks any kind of personal sovereignty in comparison to the male characters, so I tried giving her a bit more personality and agency. The change in the ending is probably the most direct example of this, but I think the dialogue helps to flesh out her character as well. For the finale,  I decided to have the couple stay together to maintain consistency with the broader story, and I tried to add a few more flirtatious lines to emphasize their attraction to each other as avatars of two divine lovers. This image does not show Rama in the act of breaking the bow, but rather, the aftermath while the bow lies in pieces on the ground; thus, it could be open to interpretation as to who really broke the bow. 

10 comments:

  1. Excellent work. The dialogue made me feel like I was there. The lack of attribution in your quotes (i.e. "she said") keeps the story flowing without being confusing. Furthermore, I think the best part of your story was the change at the end. As I was reading, I thought to myself, "I see how this goes, Rama will be surprised after he breaks the bow to find that woman he met earlier was Sita." Instead, I was pleasantly surprised to find out that Sita breaks the bow. You were successful in your goal to make Sita a more dynamic character. We know that Rama is the avatar of Vishnu and Sita is the avatar of Lakshmi. I appreciated that the two paragraphs which conclude your story include this divine aspect. You left plenty of room to expand this story by including more details, but it is no way lacking. All around this is a very solid story.

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  2. Hey Jacob Henry! I enjoyed reading your version of Breaking the Bow. Most of the stories I have read in this book always portray the woman as the weaker character who always needs to be rescued by a man. In your version it shows the woman as a more strong and independent character that can make her own decisions. Great twist to the story.

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  3. This was utterly fantastic! I did something similar with my story, in using the courtship of Rama and Sita. But the twist you gave your story beats mine by a long shot. I totally did not expect it to go the way it did and I actually like that Sita is not a flat character anymore, but a much more rounded and dynamic persona. I liked that she was the one to take charge and choose Rama, by her own accord, and not because he won a contest, essentially.

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  4. Very good story. I will start by saying that overall your story was captivating and I truly enjoyed reading it. The dialogue of your story did a great job of making me feel like I was a part of the story. You read two different versions of the Ramayana than I did, so I was interested in how you would work with this story, and the dialogue helped you do a wonderful job. I like the format of your story, it made it approachable. Your spacing was very nice as well. You're font size was a good choice and I like how you made your author's note smaller, it helped keep the focus on your story. Your ending was my favorite part of the story. To me it is the perfect beginning of their life to come and the perfect way to tie in the divine in this story, which is such an important aspect of the Ramayana. Overall, great job!

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  5. I love your version of this story! I have to admit that I wasn't quite sure where you were going with it and it actually took me a little bit to realize that he was talking to Sita. It is nice to see that you had Sita be the one to decide her own fate. She got to choose who she was going to marry and I think that is such an interesting change from the original version. I loved the dialogue at the beginning. It definitely gave Sita more character and portrayed her as a stronger person than she seemed to be in the original story. I also liked how you still ended the story with the two deciding to marry still that way it continued to go along with the rest of the epic. The spacing in your story really helped it to flow and it was very interesting to read. Overall, I really loved your story.

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  6. Jacob!
    I loved your story and it was interesting to read it because we wrote over the same piece. However my story is a tad bit different because I reference Shrek (the movie), as you will see when you read my story. I really liked how detailed your story was. It made it easier to read because I was able to actually picture myself in the setting of the story. The spacing of your story made it really easy to follow the flow of the story. One thing that I didn't think about was making the Author's note a tad bit smaller to distinguish between the story and your note. So I thought that brought a different perspective for a Author's note. In my story I talked about how Rama was the one to conquer the bow, but I think that in your story it made it interesting that you changed it and made Sita the one to conquer the bow. I especially liked it because it empowered women and showed that women could do anything I man can do. So thank you for that and good job!

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  7. This is probably my favorite story I’ve read so far. First of all, I loved the playful banter between Rama and Sita at the beginning of the story. It is obvious that the two are compatible and they seem more like friends chatting than individuals who have been “struck by the love god”. Then there’s the plot twist at the end which I definitely didn’t see coming. I’m a huge feminist, so I love when stories are manipulated to produce a woman heroine in the end. Even if Rama had been able to shoot the bow, the two would’ve been able to be together, but it is the principle of Sita choosing for herself that is so important. Sita is not a prize, she cannot be won, she is a human being with opinions and personality. I think your story did a great job revealing the true “spirit” of Sita. Great work, and I’m hoping for more plot twists in the rest of your writing!

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  8. Oh my gosh, your story was incredible. I knew the character at the beginning was Sita, but I did not know what was happening when Rama was unable to break the bow. When the hooded figure stepped up, I knew instantly who it was but I was still on the edge of my seat, waiting for Sita to be revealed. Your interpretation of the story was unbelievably amazing! I am so impressed by this story and I am going to bookmark your page so I can read more of your stories. The pacing was perfect, the dialogue was intriguing, and the twist was perfect! I love the message of your story and Sita's speech at the end really emphasized this. You are incredibly talented and this is a great story! I also love your writing style. You have the perfect voice for storytelling. Parts of this story reminded me of "Brave" and I love that movie. I don't know if that inspired you at all, but it kind of reminded me of a scene from that. This was such a good story! Good job!

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  9. Wow, Jacob, this was masterfully written! I have to say up front that reading through your story, it really reminded me of Merida from Brave, and how she chooses her own fate. I too am generally frustrated with how Sita comes off as fairly flat, while Rama has an ocean of depth comparatively. A trend I've noticed in the class is giving the female characters more depth, more action, and more to do in general relating to the epics than just being there as arm candy for the men, and I LOVE it. I also love that Sita has sass. Not all characters would be suited by that addition, but she definitely benefits. I also like that Rama is flawed. Flawed characters are so much more interesting to read and think about than the perfect characters that are sometimes very prominent in the epics. Nicely done! I didn't see much in the way of grammar mistakes, so it looks good there! The flow of your story was great, and I really enjoyed reading it.

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  10. Hey Jacob. Great story! I don’t ever remember reading one of your stories, which is a shame, because I was completely intrigued by this one. The story of Rama and Sita has been told a billion and one times, and I think you put a very nice personal touch to the story to keep readers interested. I was especially keen on the introduction. The setting of the market place, and all of the hustle and bustle that accompany it, was spot on. This also fed nicely into the sort of snappy interaction between the first meeting of Sita and Rama. It was almost like a movie scene when I pictured it in my head. The first impression is not what you would picture as true love, but then low and behold, it is Sita. The story was very well written and did a good job of mixing up dialogue and storytelling. Awesome job.

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